


They wanna fill my head up and scare me half to death (Side A)

by YunaDragneel



Series: Remember me as I was not as I am [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gaslighting, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Whole lotta bad stuff is happening, proceed with caution please, the great Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 11:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10385643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaDragneel/pseuds/YunaDragneel
Summary: He had been here for a few days only. Nothing more nothing less.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TimmyJaybird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/gifts).



> Y'all have no idea how long it took me to continue this. It's only a shorter update but I hope I will be able to post the next one relatively soon. Also this whole series is still a gift to dear Timmeh cuz... yeah. I started it as a gift and I continue it as a gift.

His head was fuzzy when he awoke and found himself at an unknown place. It looked like a hospital, more or less. The white walls were reflecting the too bright lights and made his eyes hurt. When the pain subsided, he tried to sit up, but his hands and legs were fixed, tied to the bed. The metal bed creaked when he began tugging at the leather straps. Panic surged through him when the leather just laced tighter to his wrists and ankles. Two people with white coats rushed into the room.

“It’s alright, you’re safe here,” the black woman assured and untied him, the leather straps loosening. “You collapsed and our team found you passed out.” Damian frowned a bit. He knew he had been attacked. A syringe emptying into his neck was a feeling he couldn’t forget. “We have to keep you for a while because your health isn’t at its peak.” Again, Damian knew he was healthy aside from a little malnutrition. What those people were saying didn’t make any sense to him at all. He _knew_ that they didn’t help him. “You began thrashing when we brought you here so we had to restrain you.” The woman looked at him with a smile, which Damian didn’t return, his face blank. They were lying to him.

“We checked you through and you seem to have a few issues,” the man beside her began, checking Damian from head to toe with his eyes. The gaze in itself was uncomfortable, as if the man was undressing him with his eyes and Damian wished for Tim’s presence. Come to think of it, where was Tim? Damian didn’t know, he wasn’t sure if Tim was here too. “You were unconscious for a day and you seem to have suffered a concussion, when you were pushed to the ground.” Damian’s frown deepened. Didn’t the woman just tell him he had collapsed? Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t speak, his throat felt raw, breathing hurt. Maybe a side effect from being drugged─ had he really been drugged? These people told him he had collapsed or been pushed to the ground. He didn’t know.

His eyes darted to the papers the woman had in her hands and she picked up on the movement, with a smile she looked at him.

“Those are test results of your friend. He is missing his spleen and an infection is endangering him,” the woman – Anicia ─ explained, “He is in a very bad condition for the moment, but we will help him.” Damian squinted a little, not entirely believing what the woman said. “You have to still be a bit confused from being out for so long, it will pass.” Reassuringly she put her hand on Damian’s shoulder, who glanced at the hand before fixing his eyes on the woman again. He tried not to think of the man who was still looking so closely at him. Something beside him beeped and he looked at the bracelet of Anicia, which began glowing. She pulled her hand back and looked closer. “James they need you at the Unit.” The man glanced at her, but walked away after she gave him the papers, out of the spacious room, stopped staring at Damian, who relaxed a little.

He felt unsafe. There was a sinister atmosphere lingering and it made Damian be on high alert. The male looked at his hands and wondered where his gloves were. He looked at Anicia and made gesture similar to pulling on gloves.

“We took your gloves for your own safety, so you couldn’t hurt yourself,” she replied, “Come on, I think you’re hungry.” The woman waved at him to follow her, which he did hesitantly. One step after another, he caught up to her slowly, aware of his surroundings and where he was. Damian followed after her, down a long corridor, through a reinforced door and came to a small canteen. She pointed to a table, “Wait there, I’ll get you your food.”

Damian walked over to the table, sliding into the seat with care. He felt strangely watched. Something wasn’t right, glancing around he found a camera scanning the room. Constant surveillance. This wasn’t an ordinary hospital and he concentrated for a moment. Listening. Trying to hear something. But there was nothing. Absolute silence. A tray with food and water was placed before him and Anicia took the seat across from him.

“Here you go,” she smiled, “And also here’s your medicine.” She placed a pill beside the water and Damian stared at it for a moment. He didn’t trust this. “I promise you, Marcia our cook is doing a very good job in the kitchen. Her food is very good.” Hesitantly he picked up the fork, looking at the noodles in front of him. He took a few bites, but he didn’t feel hungry and eating just hurt his throat more. Damian set the fork down, and drank a bit from the water, the cool fluid burning. He eyed the pill, but took it and swallowed it, drinking down the rest of the water. Anicia hadn’t stopped looking at him and smiled when he downed the water. “You should eat a bit more.”

“Not hungry,” he croaked out and Anicia was delighted that he spoke two words.

“Then let’s get you back to your room, so you can rest.” She got up and brought away the left-over food. Damian just followed her with his eyes, waited. He didn’t like anyone in this facility. Whoever they were, they were dangerous. They had Tim. His pretty bird. He needed to get his act together. He needed to save Tim. The woman came back into his view and waved at him, the gesture implying that he were to follow her, which he did. Playing along. That’s what he did.

They walked down hall after hall until they came to a different room and Damian had lost his orientation half way through. This place was built like a maze. Damian felt sluggish, dragging his feet as Anicia happily chattered away. The woman talked too much in his opinion. He wanted to see Tim. These people were unsettling him. The friendliness, the help. This wasn’t normal. The way they mixed up stories, it didn’t help with the overall situation.

“So, we’re back at your room, I was instructed to wait until you fall asleep, from then on we have camera surveillance to check in on you,” she explained as she guided him through the door, “The doors will lock automatically after ten in the evening and re-open at six in the morning. If you have any questions, please ask them.” Damian sat down on the bed in the corner, pulling his knees to his chest so he could think and protect himself. He wanted to see Tim. And he opened his mouth to ask, but no words came out. He couldn’t talk. It was as if he had forgotten how to form words, his eyelids drooping heavily. He suddenly felt tired. So tired. Damian just wanted to sleep and slumped against the pillows. “You must be really tired if you’re falling asleep already.” Anicia’s voice came to his ears like they were stuffed with cotton. Quiet, dampened. He couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore and let the sleep tug him in.

 *

Damian awoke again, drowsily looking around, finding Anicia sitting on a chair in the room. She was reading a book, the glasses almost slipping off her nose. He managed to sit up, drawing attention to himself. Alarmed Anicia looked up from her book, but relaxed, putting down her book and getting up. All the while she smiled trying to reassure Damian.

“Are you feeling better?” Damian frowned at her, unable to speak. “You didn’t feel well when you went to sleep earlier, so I’ve waited until you woke up to see if everything’s alright.” Something was amiss, Damian just couldn’t figure out what it was. It didn’t really feel like he had slept for only a few hours, so he tapped his wrist, trying to get an answer about the time. Anicia checked her wristband and replied: “It’s five in the afternoon. You still have time to eat and get a bit around the ba- hospital.” She slipped up, Damian noticed. “I know you’re not a fan of talking, but maybe we can find other ways of communication. I just want to make this as best for you as possible.”

He bit his lip and nodded, unable to talk. Generally he wanted to see Tim, wanted to touch him, be with him. Damian sighed, he couldn’t say anything, didn’t even know how to communicate what he wanted. Granted, he wasn’t even sure if they would really give him the chance to do what he desired.

“I still think you should take a shower first and foremost.” She seemed amused by his inability to talk, directing him around, but Damian couldn’t exactly object. So he just nodded, let her direct him. “Come on then, I’ll show you how the shower works.” He followed her into a small room adjacent to the one he was staying in. There was a toilet, a sink, a small cabinet and a shower. Anicia pointed to a control in the shower stall. “This is the control pad for the shower, I’ve recalibrated it so you can use it. Try waving your hand over the sensor.” Damian did as instructed and a floating interface appeared above the sensor. “So you can tamper with the temperature in the middle, just swipe your finger in the direction you want, right beside a color code will inform you how hot it’ll be. Violet is normal temperature, the redder it gets the hotter the water will be, the more blue there is the colder it’ll be.” Damian rolled his eyes. Drake always said the same thing when he coded for─ he stopped his thoughts. Who was this person he was thinking about? How did he know about this person to begin with? And why was his heart fluttering over it? So many questions, but he concentrated on listening to Anicia again. “I’ve put a stash of clothes and a towel into the cabinet, now take your shower.” She then left the room. Thoroughly searching the room, Damian found no camera or anything else that could let them watch whatever he was doing. At least the bathroom was safe from prying eyes. He carefully undressed, put the clothes into a hamper he found in the corner beside the cabinet. The reflection in the mirror above the sink scared him for a moment. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be him. The guy in the mirror was pale. He wasn’t pale. He didn’t have those immense bags under his eyes. No. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t that bony. God no. Thanks to Tim he had been getting a little more weight on him. He had been here for a few days only. Nothing more nothing less, but yet he was so bony. So sunken in. Biting his lip he stepped into the shower, swiped over the interface to heat the water up. Warmer than normal. It was a redder violet. Damian scrubbed at his skin, unable to really comprehend that this was his own.

 *

He sat on the bed, dressed in fresh clothes, observing the door. Anicia left. Without her, he had no sense of time, she had a clock. He didn’t. And he didn’t like that. It made him feel as if there was something amiss. That there was something obvious he was missing. Something very obvious and it was scaring him. He didn’t want this to be any sort of issue. Especially when he didn’t know where he was or where they brought Tim- and god. _Tim._ He’d almost forgotten. How could he have almost forgotten Tim? The open door looked inviting, Damian wanted to go outside of this room and look around. Maybe find Tim. Maybe see him and ask him what was going on.

His bare feet touched the tiled floor, making quiet slap sounds echo through the hallways. Damian had been wandering for what felt like hours and the hallways never changed. He didn’t even know where he was anymore and no one was around. He followed hallway after hallway and came to a more open space. Damian listened for a second, not wanting to get caught by surprise and then he walked ahead. Walking towards the middle of this room felt strange. There was barely anything there. One or two doors and that was it. The young man stopped walking, waiting for a bit, listening. Something felt off. Damian could swear he heard muffled screaming from somewhere. Very faint, but it was there. Someone was screaming as if they were in pain. Hesitating for a second, Damian walked towards the door that would lead him to the screaming.

The screaming got louder the longer he followed the darker hallways. It was concerning how much the person was screaming and sobbing and Damian couldn’t help but think of the image that haunted him. Laying on a table, a tube shoved down his throat and various other tubes connecting to his bloodstream. He shivered, forcing himself to take a deep breath. His pretty bird wasn’t there to calm him down. Damian had to keep himself calm, and that was hard. He had become dependent on Tim and it scared him to an extent, but it also made him feel safe in a way. Shaking his head, Damian continued down the hallway, the screams beginning to fade, most likely from exhaustion and it was concerning. He found himself in front of a door and through the glass he could see red glowing lights and multiple people were huddled together over something.

“Subject 6-24 seems in pain, this is normal for the procedure,” A voice talked over the pained crying.

“His back is only bloody, no sign of our DNA treatment working.”

“Another dose.”

“Sir, any more and he will─”

“ _Another dose._ ”

“… Yes sir.” Damian tried to make sense of what they were saying but nothing clicked and when the screaming started up again, he didn’t know what to do. There was an audible gasp and Damian realized a little too late that the door had opened. The goddamn door had opened and revealed his presence to those dangerous people. His gaze turned to the person strapped to a chair, with barely any room to move. Damian shivered. He felt his heart stopping when the cold barrel of a gun was pushed against his neck.

*

When he awoke, he was in his room, someone reading a book. His dull eyes moved to the ceiling, staring at it without even a reaction to the person walking around the room now. There was nothing on his mind, he could barely even function.

“We might have broken subject 1-09.” Those words meant nothing to him, he couldn’t even make sense of them.

“Get the IV. If this one doesn’t get nutrients, our research would have been wasted. Especially for the subjects of batch 1 since only this one turned out successful.” Damian turned his head, just staring. He let it happen. Everything they did, because he wasn’t even sure if that had been real. What did he know? He’d gotten here because he had fainted on the street. His friend had been with him, but he was gone now. The people of this facility helped him and everything had been a few days ago. That’s all he knew, everything he could think of. The medication they had given him made him feel out of it. But he couldn’t refuse it either. That’s all he knew, everything he could think of. A small doubt came to him. Maybe that wasn’t all true. But how could he be 100% sure? Everything else might have been a dream.

“Increase the medication as well. Subject 1-09 should be reset soon.” He felt sleepy.

 *

It continued for hours, drifting in and out of sleep. Never truly awake, never fully there. It was always something in between. Something between awake and asleep, living and dying. But never one or the other. Damian wasn’t even sure what was real or fake. Those people came in with a smile when he saw them, they left with a smile. The talked and he didn’t understand a word they were saying. It was gibberish. Something between coherent and mumbling. Always something in between. Never one or the other. And it continued.

 *

It felt like hours to him, but who knew. He felt his limbs again. He could move. Damian sat up slowly. Knowing he couldn’t overdo it. How he knew? He wasn’t sure. It was a feeling.

“You’ve woken up again!” The black woman came towards him and everything inside Damian screamed at him to get up and run. But he didn’t. He also felt like he should know who she was. But he didn’t. “You’ve been asleep for a day. So you probably feel a bit out of it.” Damian let her help him up even though his body was screaming at him to not let her touch him. She chattered away, kept Damian steady enough to walk alongside her. They walked out of the room and into the hallway. For some reason Damian felt like he could hear and feel vibrations. As if something was crashing. His intuition told him to get the hell back to the room because the hallway would come crashing. When the crack in the ceiling appeared, Damian jumped back to the room, feeling exhausted already from the movement. The black woman’s legs were crushed in the debris. Through the ceiling shone bright sunlight, warming Damian up.

“I’m in Jason.” A woman with orange skin appeared and Damian had the feeling he had seen her. She was an alien, but someone close to someone he knew. She looked around and her eyes were then glued on him. “. . . Get to my location Jason. There is something you should see for yourself.”

_Jason Jason Jason Jason_. The name echoed in Damian’s mind and he knew it from somewhere. _Jason Jason Jason Jason_. The orange alien came closer, carefully stepping over the debris, her long red hair falling gracefully over her back. She whipped back around when the black woman yelled something and without any hesitance the orange woman slammed another rock onto her.

“Don’t forget-“ The now dying black woman wheezed in Damian’s direction, feeling her lungs getting crushed, “We’re the good guys.”

“Damian, do not listen,” the orange alien told him, “The others will be here soon.” The heavy thumping of boots resounded when a man with a red helmet came sprinting around the corner.

“Kori! You found one?” He yelled and stopped in front of the door, seeing Damian sit on the ground, staring, not once even reacting.

_Jason Kori Jason Kori Jason Kori_. Damian wasn’t able to think; those names took up everything he had and his head hurt over it. “Ja…son…” His voice barely came out as a whisper. The disuse and whatever medication they had given him made him unable to talk. His thoughts though. They cleared slowly.

“Yes it’s me babybat! Do you know where Tim is?” Jason had squatted down in front of Damian to seem less threatening. The younger man leaned forward unable to stop the exhaustion taking over. The man in the red helmet caught him easily, taking a deep breath when he realized that Damian was only skin and bones. Jason didn’t know if Damian had understood him, but the finger pointing into a direction told him a different story. He hoisted the exhausted man up in his arms and carried him. “Kori let’s go, we need to get Tim and then get the hell out of here.” Jason pressed the communicator in his helmet. “B, Nightwing, Batgirl and Arsenal, we need you at our location. Kori found Damian.” There was some chatter on the comm but it quieted down fast, steps being heard relatively soon and capes appearing in the direct vicinity of where Jason had entered the scene.

“Hood! We’re here!” Batgirl called, a horrified gasp escaping her upon seeing Damian’s sunken form in Jason’s arms. “What the hell happened with him…!?”

“Look I don’t know more than you do, but we need to find Tim. Quickly. Damian pointed us into a direction but he’s weak and we need his guidance to get to Timmy.”

“Yeah, okay.” Steph felt her throat going dry. She didn’t want to imagine what Tim looked like if Damian was already that bad off.

 *

Hallways after hallways and the group only just arrived at a larger room. An open space with two doors. Damian was barely able to lift his hand, but pointed them to the right door. There was no screaming, nothing. Eerie silence but they continued on.

“It’s too quiet, I don’t like it,” Steph muttered, looking around. The lights were flickering and it looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. There was blood at the end of the hallway. Something that looked like a hand to go with the splatters on the ground. They went ahead and stopped in front of the room.

In the middle stood Tim. Corpses ─ pieces of corpses ─ strewn across the room. There was a twisted smile on his face. And on his back were bleeding gashes, where something like wings seemed to sprout. A bony and bloody mess.

“Tim?” His grin turned to hysterical laughter, then he screamed.


End file.
